One way to endure the unexpected roughness of life is to nurse each other with small amounts of meaning, beauty, truth, and love. — Mark Nepo

Anxiety is a normal emotion. However, most would agree it is now at an elevated level and this heightened anxiety can certainly take a toll both physically and mentally. I believe there is a fine line between the mental chaos anxiety creates and the legitimate concern necessary to deal with the issue(s).  We can become exhausted when our mind vacillates between the two poles often spending more time, or even becoming stuck in the chaos mode, limiting our ability to find middle ground. We need to be in that place of balance to make the right decisions, not allowing panic to overshadow good judgement. No one is immune from the effects of anxiety, but some folks are more prone to falling into an anxious state than others.  This is often from learned childhood behavior, unprocessed trauma, underlying medical conditions, or any combination of the three. Now more than ever it is important to learn how to deal with anxiety and not let it control you. 

When I work with clients, regardless of their situation, I always ask what they have in their “emotional tool box” to help them deal with their challenge(s).  Even the most novice handyman or woman has a tool kit for when emergencies arise—everyone needs an “emotional tool kit” as well. If you do not have an emotional tool kit, this is a perfect time to start one.  You already have most of the items you will need.  

Proper breathing.  When we get anxious we often fall into the habit of shallow breathing, or chest breathing, which adds to our anxiety, often triggering the body’s innate fight or flight response. If you watch a baby breathe you see their little belly rise and fall. This is the natural way to breathe.  Proper breathing is simply breathing in through your nose and mentally following your breath down to your abdomen as it expands. Hold this breath for a few seconds and then release it a little slower than the inhalation, feeling your abdomen contract. Doing this for just a few minutes will cause the physiology in your body to change to a more relaxed state.  Some people find it helpful to slowly count to five as they breathe in and again as they breathe out. There are many variations of proper breathing but this example is easy to do and to remember. 

The next item to add to your emotional tool box is an inexpensive note book, journal, or yellow pad, something to write or scribble on.  Sit down and write out exactly what it is you are anxious about.  Often the simple act of putting your thoughts down on paper will give you clarity and also a sense of control.  You are probably not going to solve the situation by putting your thoughts on paper, but simply doing “something” is calming.  I prefer a journal or notebook with unlined pages because a little doodling or scribbling prior to your writing often helps the monkey mind to focus better.  

Next tool kit item would be meditating. This suggestion almost always generates the response – “I’ve tried it, and I can’t do it.”  However, if you can master the first item—focusing on your breath for a few minutes, you can do it.  When you are focusing on your breathing and not thinking about the chaos—you are meditating.   It really is that simple. You do not have to be a yogi and sit cross legged on a pillow or empty your mind (which is impossible), you simply need to sit quietly and focus on your breath, a candle, a word, etc. for a few minutes.  I’m not sure who said this but it is so true—meditating for just five minutes a day is fine, unless you are really busy, then meditating 15 minutes a day is a must. 

Read or do something positive.  There are many apps you can download on your phone that will give you a daily uplifting message.  Or pick up that inspirational book you have been meaning to read. Relax and let the message sink in, maybe even write it in your journal, or if it really speaks to you draw a little design around it and put it on your computer screen so you will see it all day. 

Now that we have been asked to stay home it is the perfect time to reflect on what is really important in our lives and then spend some time connecting or reconnecting with those things.  Whether it is spending more time with your family, in prayer or devotion with your higher power, appreciating the beauty in your own back yard, or any of a myriad of things consider this “home sheltering” as a gift.  Connect with a friend through the internet, pet your dog or cat, take a lesson from our neighbors in Italy and sit on your porch or deck and play beautiful music or sing, get enough sleep, fresh air and a little exercise, take a walk in nature, or try a yoga class (on your computer for now).

When you are in an anxious state it is very easy to let old, dysfunctional, addictive habits take over—poor choices with how we spend our time, how we bury our feelings – with drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, isolating, etc.   Instead engage in a hobby that you enjoy and focus on taking care of you and those you love.  

There are always going to be times when your anxiety is high, but having tools to deal with it gives you control.  Having an emotional tool box gives you control.