Dealing with Emotions Are you someone who has always been pretty good at dealing with your emotions, but you seem to be having trouble lately? Perhaps you are even the person that others come to when they are struggling? However, now there are days when you feel a little out of control—like you are on an emotional roller coaster. You are fine for a while but then you read or hear something upsetting or have a disagreement with someone and your sense of stability crumbles. This lack of emotional control can be crazy making for yourself and those around you.
In previous blogs I have encouraged you to become more mindful of your feelings. Stuffing, avoiding, and not addressing emotions is one of the most physically and emotionally detrimental things you can do to yourself. The following suggestion is not a way for you to stuff your emotions, rather it is offering a healthy way to deal with them—a tool to help you get through the rough times. It is a time-tested technique used by trauma therapist and a practice I used many times when working with those in recovery.
An Emotional Container My suggestion is to create an “emotional container,” a safe place to store your emotions, when you feel a little out of control. Your container is where you will temporarily place your troubling thoughts when the emotional roller coaster takes off. Once you feel in charge you can take your feelings out of the container and deal with them appropriately. Often when our emotions have control of us—instead of us having control of our emotions—we say or do things we later regret—such as starting an unnecessary argument or making a rude comment. When our emotions go into overdrive our brain simply does not process thoughts the way it does when things are running smoothly—it goes into a reactive mode where cognition, attention, and memory, are put on hold. Having an emotional container to use during these times gives our mind a time-out until it is back on track.
The Perfect Container. To create your container, first take a few minutes to quiet your mind as you think of something that has a calming presence. Perhaps being close to the ocean, or maybe it is being in nature or watching a beautiful sun set. Find pictures in magazines, items you have around the house, or take out some paints and decorate your container. You can use an old shoe box, an empty oat meal box, a canister— anything that has a lid. When your container is finished place it where you will see it as a reminder that you do not have to be in control all the time. Your container will be there when you need it, but remember you will not be locking your feelings away for good, you will simply be giving them a temporary place to rest until you are ready to deal with them, when the roller coaster has stopped and you can step off.
Having a better way to deal with our emotions will help us get through these challenging times. Please share this article with anyone you think might find it helpful and visit my website www.creativejourneysbook.com for more ways to help deal with troubling emotions.